I'm tired of me
I'm tired of life.
I'm tired of ....everything.
I'm tired of the fact that no matter how i intend for a conversation to go..it ends with me in tears.
I'm tired of the fact that I feel it necessary to apologize for my feelings.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of effort with no results,
I'm tired of having to be adult,
I'm tired of keeping back-up insults,
I'm tired of having no one to consult,
I'm tired of regrets that keep creeping in,
I'm tired of wanting to re-begin,
I'm tired of guilt not wearing thin,
I'm tired of trying, and trying, and trying,
I'm tired of unfulfilled teenage dreams,
I'm tired of not feeling part of a team,
I'm tired of not being able to scream,
I'm tired of nursing low self-esteem,
I'm tired of people ignoring me,
I'm tired of eyes that don't wanna meet,
I'm tired of faking happiness
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
It's been a while...
and things have really changed.
I came back to New Hampshire in late May to finally lay Mom to rest (frozen ground..all that technical weather-y stuff) and decided to stay. It was a hard decision to make... entailing changing custody agreements and leaving the town I fell in love with 12 years ago. I'll miss Omaha and the friendly midwestern people, to be sure-- but most of all I'll miss all of the Family I made there. I could call them friends, but the relationships are so far beyond that ....
New Hampshire is growing on me. Most of my family lives here now and it's nice getting to know them again. I have a great job, doing the work that I love in a GORGEOUS setting and some really great people to work with, so that's all coming together nicely as well.
I've been focusing much of my free time on my new hobby -- Photography-- and adding in some hiking/swimming to continue my journey towards a new me. I was really into SparkPeople for a while, but with the move and everything it sort of fell by the wayside, but I'm still working out and eating right and am attempting to get back into using the website because it really is a great motivational tool. The people there are amazing.
Well, off to shower and out to snap some more photo's. Have a great Monday!
I came back to New Hampshire in late May to finally lay Mom to rest (frozen ground..all that technical weather-y stuff) and decided to stay. It was a hard decision to make... entailing changing custody agreements and leaving the town I fell in love with 12 years ago. I'll miss Omaha and the friendly midwestern people, to be sure-- but most of all I'll miss all of the Family I made there. I could call them friends, but the relationships are so far beyond that ....
New Hampshire is growing on me. Most of my family lives here now and it's nice getting to know them again. I have a great job, doing the work that I love in a GORGEOUS setting and some really great people to work with, so that's all coming together nicely as well.
I've been focusing much of my free time on my new hobby -- Photography-- and adding in some hiking/swimming to continue my journey towards a new me. I was really into SparkPeople for a while, but with the move and everything it sort of fell by the wayside, but I'm still working out and eating right and am attempting to get back into using the website because it really is a great motivational tool. The people there are amazing.
Well, off to shower and out to snap some more photo's. Have a great Monday!
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