On Monday, Jason and I walked into a court room and declared in front of God and everyone that we were done. Done with each other, done with being a family, done with being married.
It all ended. 11.5 years of my life, down the drain. I have nothing really to show for it but a bruised ego, an un-trusting heart and the faint hope that in the end, I will be okay.
It's been a tumultuous few months between the two of us with little respite from stresses of daily life as a family of sorts.
I've moved out, we've both moved on.
I won't lay blame at anyone's feet, God knows I made my fair share of mistakes and wrong turns as has he.
But, in the end it was the best decision for the kids, and that's what matters right now.
I am doing my best to maintain a positive relationship with him for the sake of our three gorgeous children, and I won't lie-- It's hard. It's hard to accept him in only that capacity as a father to my children, knowing that I have no further access to his daily life....that the stuff I've been privy to for the last decade is no longer "any of my business". Do I think I can maintain a friendship with him? I don't know... But I do know that I will not tolerate any one bad-mouthing him in front of me or to me or my children.
So, that's my life in a nutshell right now on that front. Sometime in the upcoming months hopfully, I will have some exciting news to share, but for now-- I cant.
